What is a father figure?

Ok, so after having a conversation with a friend who has children, I have decided to look at what we deem as an approrpriate father figure role?

Unfortunately more and more children are living in non-nuclear families. There are a lot of children born each year to parents that have no ambition to continue a long lasting relationship. However there are also a lot of children who are born into nuclear families that either stay together or break up after a certain amount of time. I wanted to explore this and why it happens and what affects it has on the children.

There are men out there and unfortunately it is becoming more common in the twenty first century that still believe they should have no part in raising their children. There are men that all they care about is getting laid by a girl and if they have a kid then its the girls problem. Well I don't believe in this at all. There are of course many men out there that don't seem to be bothered at all about their children. I've seen children before who live with their mother and have no contact with their biological father. There are many people out there that end up in relationships which don't always work out and there are also people out there that go through relationships like sliced bread.

In my opinion a father figure should always be there for his children. If the relationship between him and the mother breaks down and they divorce or seperate then the rights should be distributed evenly. It has come into the news not so long ago that father's rights to see their children are constantly being shortened and made unfair. Nine times out of Ten a child involved in a divorce will end up in the custody of the woman unless the courts don't see the mother fit to care for said child. This is because unfortunately men are not seen as the "caring" and "loving" type and children are better in the care of their mothers.

I don't believe this. Father's have a very important part to play in a child's life. This includes step-fathers and step-parents. If a child doesn't have a father figure then they are essentially missing out on a whole side of them. It takes both a mother and father to raise a child and help them develop properly. If you rip a child away from either parents it can affect them. Some people might believe that if a little girl lives with their mother it will be all fine and dandy, yet they would be wrong. I have seen cases of young girls who can't trust men around them or any male figures because they are not used to men being around and men are portrayed as "bad people". What kind of a start is that for any child?

Father's should have a responsibility to their children, they are the ones that created them in the first place. It is because a large majority of Father's who don't look after their children or leave the child with their mothers are just arrogant stuck up idiots. There is no other way if putting it politer. There are a lot of men out there that establish a relationship with a woman and all they want is to come home, have sex with her and don't care what happens in between as long as they are happy. These are the type of men that I hate and personally believe don't deserve to have any children. Those type of men are the type that would rather choose an abortion than support the mother through pregnancy and support a child. Unfortunately, when the child is born and the father wants nothing to do with the him/her the child feels alone and not wanted. This can have a serious affect on any child's self-esteem and can lead to a child not progressing in their holistic development.

On the left is a picture of a father spending quality time with his young daughter. They are having a brilliant time at the beach and this photograph clearly shows the love he has for his little girl. This is how father's should be. A father should have the time for his children, we are not stuck in the nineteen-fifties and raising and caring for a child is no longer just a woman's job. It is a shared role between both parents. A parent and father figure is someone who has access to the child and cares for them. No matter if you are their biological father or their step-father or even grandfather you should act like you want them around. Make an effort with the children in your home and don't leave it all to the women.

Of course you do get a father who is a bit like the one on the right side picture. I have no idea why a father think it would be "Cool" to do this to any child. You do unfortunately get men out in the world who are more interested in alchohol, smoking or drugs than their children. This outrages me as it can be a form of neglect towards a child. It also stresses out the mother and this can lead to depression and breakdown of the relationship. If you become a father then you should find the time to love and be with your child, every father should try to do what they can with their children and be a positive influence.

Unfortunately the reason on the right is why the UK courts are more likely to pick a mother over a father when it comes to child custody. We are currently living in a world where men constantly think that have to look "Cool" and "Awesome" in front of others. The generation which is currently having children now do not have the values that we used to have. There are several children that come into early years settings confused to how their father is going to be like when they get picked up. I've seen children being dropped off in Porsches and Sport Cars, and this might seem cool but how is a two seater sports car suitable for a young child? Is this just the man wanting a fast sports car and having a child in the front seat looks cool?

One of the things that I don't understand is the support system when it comes to children and divorce in the United Kingdom. When a couple splits and children are involved, the parents who doesn't have full custody of the child has to pay support to the other parent until the child is eighteen years old and is in full time education. The only problem is that if one parents remarry's or has another relationship the other parents feels like they shouldn't support the child anymore because of any income the new step-parent supplies. This of course is wrong, parents who believe that just because they are seperated from their child due to relationship problems they shouldn't support their child are wrong. All parents of a child play an equal part and an equal responsibility in his/her development and life. No parent should be a bad influence on a child, and a father who neglects their child shouldn't deseve access to their child. Its as simple as that.

Overall, a father figure should be someone who has time for their children. They should be open to their child and listen to what they want. They should do what is in the best interest of the child, even if the child is not biologically theirs and vice versa. Any adult involved in a child's life should all have equal opportunities and influence on the child's holistic development and life. Parents who jepodise a child's future by negelecting them or jepodising their development shouldn't have access, and this applies to both parents.

Look at the picture on the left, is this how a child should look at their parents? Is it fair to have children with parents at each other's throats? Is it fair to have a child with no father figure and is constantly brought up to distrust men? Children should have a father figure, whether that be their biological father, step-father, uncle, grandfather, great grandfather etc and men should make an effort with all children and be less focused on laying with the child's mother. Basically to put it blunt, if you can't find room in your heart and schedule to support a child, keep it in your trousers until you can.